Barbie's Love Dilemma

Friday, January 20, 2006

THE NEXT DAY...




















"Uh, new girl? Could you please introduce yourself?" the group councellor asked.
"I'm uh, my name is, um, uh...I'm the 'truly outrageous' Jem!" Barbie responded.
"That's funny," the councellor responded "The last time I checked, I thought I was Jem,"
"D'oh!" snapped Barbie.




















"Barbie it's ok to be ashamed," Jem told her "I was once like you, I actually started out here as a patient. In the mid-eighties I was one of the hottest fashion dolls around, but then in 1987 my toy line was discontinued, and soon after my cartoon axed. Broke and unemployed, I turned to drugs and anonymous sex to cover up the pain. I bedded every action figure in sight, GI Joe, Batman, She-Ra...but the morning I woke up under Gumby I KNEW I had to make a change and turn my life around..."



















"You're in a safe place Barbie, it's time to begin the healing process and learn to love yourself again," Jem said soothingly.
"Oh shove it Jem!" Barbie shouted suddenly "I'm out of control ok, I've got issues! BIG ones! I'm just so tired of being so pretty and pink and nice ok!"
Barbie jumped to her feet, pulled a baseball bat from her purse, and proceeded to trash the place.




















Jem managed to push a duress button on the wall and moments later a police officer burst in, grabbing Barbie before shoving her down on a table and cuffing her.
"Get your dirty hands off me you filthy $#!@% pig!!!" Barbie shrieked in rage "Don't you $#!@% know who I am???".




















THE NEXT DAY...
"You are charged with disorderly conduct," the police officer announced " You are sentenced to six months...in Malibu State Penitentury! Smile for the camera Miss."
"Wait! I haven't fixed my hair!" Barbie gasped.


















TO BE CONTINUED...
Follow the link below to read episode two: Barbie In The Big House!

http://bighouse2006.blogspot.com/

Copyright © Cade Buchanan 2013

85 Comments:

  • At 7:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    surfer dude comes to plead 0n Barbie's behalf, and gets her sentence reduced.

     
  • At 5:16 AM, Anonymous TrekkieGrrrl said…

    *ROFL* This is priceless! Is the sequel ready yet?

     
  • At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    oh my gosh!! that is too classic!!

     
  • At 10:13 PM, Blogger Barbie said…

    The sequel is a bit off, first off I have to sew a bunch of orange little prison outfits for the characters! :-)

     
  • At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I LOVE IT!!!! I'LL BE BACK FOR THE SEQUAL

     
  • At 6:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    God this is awsome...

     
  • At 6:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    haha, that is great. keep on making these!

     
  • At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wow!
    you've got a great imagination!
    this is totally fantastic,
    Pease keep up the good work!

     
  • At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    totally hilarious!

     
  • At 4:59 PM, Blogger Rinji said…

    FREAKING Awesome!

     
  • At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I will be back for the sequel. Please email me as soon as it's finished. My adress is Chewiewells@aol.com. Thankx.

     
  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Otávio Pacheco said…

    Beautiful Barbie tale, I loved it.
    I haven't seen something so good like these.

     
  • At 2:29 PM, Blogger Dirk the Feeble said…

    That was . . . surreal.

     
  • At 3:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    awsome

     
  • At 4:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That was pimp make them more racy

     
  • At 9:50 PM, Blogger snowflakebebe said…

    OMG! Too funny :)

    ~*~
    Bratz World
    http://www.bratzworld.tv

     
  • At 11:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    thxs from Zone..dat was just GREAT !!

     
  • At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This whole story is kind of "Valley of the Dolls".

     
  • At 10:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    please...have Barbie have a lesbian experience in jail and become some cholitas bitch

     
  • At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That was great!!! Hurry with the sequel.

     
  • At 2:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Maybe the cop can come into the picture again and bang the shit out of Barbie as a form of bribery on Barbies part....hmmmmm

     
  • At 2:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That is soooooooo funny

     
  • At 11:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That was brilliant, I always knew there was something not right about barbie, and now I know what it is. Can't wait for the sequel!

     
  • At 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY! i love it!

     
  • At 3:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Absolutely classic!

     
  • At 12:06 PM, Blogger Lezlee said…

    Poetry in motion. This is fantastically demented and I loved it.Thank you for making my Monday.

     
  • At 5:50 AM, Blogger marie said…

    this is HILARIOUS! i'll come back for moe when you post!

     
  • At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is fricken funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come an' get the sequel!!!!!!!!

     
  • At 6:44 PM, Anonymous Debra said…

    ROTFL!! The best laugh I have had in weeks!!! Thank you for your wonderful, warped imagination and much great work!!! Please make more!! I must share, truly my hat's off to you!!!

     
  • At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    MORE! MORE!! BRAVO!!

     
  • At 2:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wow, this is Highlarious!, haha, it was awesome, any more?

     
  • At 10:52 AM, Blogger prathapml said…

    LMAO!

     
  • At 12:58 PM, Anonymous ChoChiyo said…

    Hahahahahhah!!!

    That was truly hysterical. I love Papa Smurf and Strawberry Shortcake in attendance at the drug and sex addiction meeting!

    Cho

     
  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger silkstone001 said…

    I really loved it . lol keep up the good work its me Jeff. silkstone001

     
  • At 3:09 PM, Anonymous Yama said…

    Oh my god.... please bring Bratz into this

    XD XD XD
    ...and some of Barbie's token racial friends.

     
  • At 1:30 AM, Blogger Barbie said…

    Hey everyone, thanks for the positive comments! It's really appreciated! The sequel is underway but could take some time as I have to make the prison outfits, finalise the script and of course build the gaol set before I start shooting! I've got some (what I think) are cool gags in the pipeline though! Thanks again! XX

     
  • At 1:11 PM, Blogger Oswald Bastable said…

    I just snorted tea up my nose!

    I will have to link this one!

     
  • At 8:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I loved this! Soooo funny and the posing was first class. What an actress! We want more!!!

     
  • At 1:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have never, ever liked Barbie, but this is great. At last Barbie is realistic, ROFLMFAO.

     
  • At 10:23 AM, Anonymous dfromparis said…

    Barbie Trash Rocks ! Seems that we have the same life BTW ! lol. dfp.

     
  • At 5:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    thats really funny!!!!!

     
  • At 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL THAT IS THE BESTTTTT!!!

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    When is the next one read - thats excellent lol

     
  • At 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    have sex with ken barbie

     
  • At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I can't wait for the sequel

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lmao this is classic!
    I lovc it!

     
  • At 6:50 PM, Blogger discotart said…

    Oh my freakin' god...bloody hilarious work Mr C! Love love love it! I've linked it from my blog so hopefully you'll get more traffic in.

    See you in March!

    Love from stonedog

    (Ps: I have to use discotart on this site 'cos somebody else has registered 'stonedog'- darnnit!!)

     
  • At 5:11 PM, Blogger Anton said…

    that's hot ;)

     
  • At 8:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    soo funny im liking itt

     
  • At 10:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i did not really get the story but i still like it

     
  • At 6:12 PM, Blogger e.m.i.l.y. said…

    Me & my sis both laughed our pants off. God, that was funny. Thanks for posting it!

     
  • At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    this sites fucking hiarius

     
  • At 5:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOved IT!!!!!!!

     
  • At 7:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    love it. will be back 4 the sequel.

     
  • At 5:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lmao, you're so imaginative. You must have a hell of a lot of time on your hands but I'm looking forward to the sequal.

     
  • At 5:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lmao, you're so imaginative. You must have a hell of a lot of time on your hands but I'm looking forward to the sequal.

     
  • At 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    *LOL* Könnte mich scheckig lachen!
    Warum schreibst du die Geschichte nicht in Deutsch?

     
  • At 4:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    vraiment bien fait félicitation

     
  • At 5:43 AM, Anonymous selin said…

    this is great

     
  • At 8:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    omg! that is soooo funny!

     
  • At 12:52 PM, Anonymous tanner stein said…

    this is some funny shit

     
  • At 4:36 AM, Blogger tambura said…

    wow. im waitin for sequel

     
  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hallo I absolutely adore your site. You have beautiful graphics I have ever seen.
    »

     
  • At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    fucking funny!

     
  • At 1:35 AM, Blogger threeoffiveterransubjunct said…

    You should make this into a multi-episodic comic. Perhaps even market it as a comic book. It is "absolutly fabulous"!!!!!

     
  • At 11:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hmm I love the idea behind this website, very unique.
    »

     
  • At 9:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ok you know whats sick? this is reminiscent of how my friends and i used to play barbies as a child *shudder*

     
  • At 10:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    tök jó ! várjuk a folytatást !

     
  • At 1:37 PM, Blogger devilskat said…

    THis is to funny. I never really was into barby but this is great i am going to continues reading the upcomming stories

     
  • At 4:44 PM, Anonymous The Publisher said…

    Funny post! Barbie is a real phenomenon!

     
  • At 9:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This blog is outrageously cool!!!
    Can't wait for the third part!

     
  • At 9:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    wow! absolutly fuckin brilliant!

     
  • At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LMAO this is so great! I love the sequel too!keepmaking them please ^-^.

     
  • At 4:18 AM, Anonymous samantha said…

    that is so not for kids!!!!!! BARBIE i'm not saying that your like mean or anything

     
  • At 4:22 AM, Anonymous samantha said…

    sorry i sad those thigs barbie i'm sorry

     
  • At 12:35 PM, Blogger biancaflorbela said…

    tipo isto e de doidos

     
  • At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    nice n virgurl n sexy story.

     
  • At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That was great!

     
  • At 5:50 AM, Blogger putri said…

    so genuine...
    loveit!
    can wait to see the other.

     
  • At 5:29 AM, Anonymous James H. said…

    Cade - this always, no matter how many times I view it, makes me smile!
    James

     
  • At 3:07 AM, Anonymous yogi afrianto said…

    nice post

     
  • At 3:01 AM, Anonymous resti said…

    i like barbie..
    lucu2..
    keren..

     
  • At 3:02 AM, Anonymous resti said…

    i like barbie..
    lucu2..
    keren..

     
  • At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Barbie-girl said…

    You know I have always been very addicted to barbie and I absolutely loved loved loved this.

     
  • At 4:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Simple Simon baked a pie...

     

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